The Phone Call


My now husband was walking into Walmart and the payphone was ringing in the entry way.  As you can tell this is a while ago, since phones are no longer in the entry when you go into stores.  So he picks it up, and hears, “Is this so and so collections?”  He replies, “Yes, yes it is, how may I help you?”  The person on the other side went off, apparently he owed money to a company, they sent him a letter, and also called neighbors and left messages for him, so that he would pay his bill.  He was not happy at all about this, but he was avoiding calling to pay his bill.  Obviously he dialed incorrectly, getting this Walmart location instead.  The guy began screaming at the top of his lungs, threatening legal action, and making physical threats.

My husbands reply was, “Sir you need to calm down, take a deep breath, take off the dress, grow a set of balls, and pay your fucking bill.”  (Can you imagine actually hearing this from someone you had called to talk about a bill, I mean not at all)!

He then screamed going irate, demanding to speak to a supervisor.  In which my husband replied, “He’s currently snorting lines of cocaine on the ass of a hooker, in the men’s bathroom on the second floor.  Can I take a message?”

The guy hung up.  I wonder when or if he ever realized he got the wrong number.  

The very first time I heard this story, I cried I was laughing so hard, and still to this day, it makes me laugh.  

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