What a freaking day, life, moment, dimension


Have you ever had one of those days, moments, seconds, weeks, years, lives?  You know the kind that you just wish was a dream, waking from it would be so nice, that kind of time.  For people who have often times you just have to shake your head and plug ahead, hoping that something will break someday, or at least sometime.

As a person who suffers from bipolar or manic depression, these times can seem like they are just horrible.  Life can collapse around you quickly, and you just really can’t do much about it.  The fact that you can’t wake up and change it all is just another thing that you have to wonder if there is someone, somewhere watching and laughing at your times.  It’s like a game or can feel like a game, where everything possible can be thrown at you, and all you have to do is handle it, or try and keep going.

There are a lot of people who will not make it through those times, and even the strongest of us can falter dangerously close to the edge.  It can be hard to tell yourself to just keep going, to leave the pieces all together and not want to just shatter it all apart.  Breaking it all down to nothing bigger than a crumb of salt, a little piece that no one would ever even be able to figure out what it once was.

Yes today is a day where the most dark and dangerous things can come into play.  But the real question is the Faith you have something that will pull you through it all?  Will you be standing at the end of a long day?  Will you be able to say, I have the support I need?  Or will you just feel so alone that no matter if you’ve had support or not you simply want to fade away?

At times it will not be a question of how long you may be able to hold out, but do you really want to make it through even.  Is there anything waiting for you?  Anything that could possibly have you wanting to continue, to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Light can get swallowed up so quickly when facing times that your mind, the devil or anything or anyone else can throw a wrench into your life.

Is there anything left out there?  Is there enough of yourself to cling too and move on?  These will be questions that may be muttered in vain, into the empty air, crying out to God.  Will you get the answers you need or require?

 

No one but yourself can really answer that.  It will all be something that in the end you will either come through or not.

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